Christmas is a time for joy, laughter, and of course, puns! Here are some delightful Christmas puns to add a little humor to your holiday season.
Christmas Puns for Kids
1. Why was the math book sad at Christmas? It had too many problems!
2. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a dog? Frostbite!
3. How does a snowman get around? By riding an “icicle”!
4. What do you call Santa’s little helpers? Subordinate Clauses!
5. Why did Santa go to music school? To improve his “wrapping” skills!
6. How do sheep wish each other a Merry Christmas? “Fleece” Navidad!
7. What do snowmen like to do on the weekend? Chill out!
8. What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an iPad? A pine-apple!
9. Why did the reindeer wear sunglasses? Because it had bright “deer-futures”!
10. What do you call a greedy elf? Elfish!
11. How does Santa keep his suits wrinkle-free? He uses “Claus-tarch”!
12. What do you call an elf who sings? A “wrapper”!
13. Why is it always cold during Christmas? Because it’s Decem-brrr!
14. What’s Santa’s favorite type of music? Wrap music!
15. How does a snowman get to work? By icicle!
16. Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing? They always drop their needles!
17. What do Santa’s elves learn in school? The elf-abet!
18. Why was the Christmas tree so bad at knitting? It kept losing its needles!
19. How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming? He refers to his calen-“deer”!
20. What kind of bug hates Christmas? A humbug!
21. Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor? He was feeling crumby!
22. How does Santa clean his sleigh? With Comet!
23. What did one snowman say to the other? Do you smell carrots?
24. What’s a snowman’s favorite cereal? Frosted Flakes!
25. Why is Santa so good at karate? Because he has a black belt!
26. Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber? It needed a trim!
27. What do elves do after school? Their gnome-work!
28. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
29. What do you call a reindeer with bad manners? Rude-olph!
30. How do you lift a frozen car? With a Jack Frost!
Christmas Puns for Food
1. Why did the cookie cry? Because its mom was a wafer too long!
2. What’s a Christmas tree’s favorite candy? Orna-mints!
3. How does a gingerbread man make his bed? With cookie sheets!
4. Why did the turkey join the band? Because it had the drumsticks!
5. What do you call an old snowman? Water!
6. What’s a snowman’s favorite breakfast? Ice Krispies!
7. How does Santa take his coffee? With a little “froth”!
8. What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!
9. What did one ornament say to the other? I like hanging with you!
10. Why did the cranberry turn red? Because it saw the turkey dressing!
11. What do you call a holiday dessert that’s crazy? A fruitcake!
12. What’s a Christmas carol’s favorite drink? Eggnog!
13. What do you call a frozen fruit? A “popsicle”!
14. How do you know the milk is spoiled? It smells “dairy” bad!
15. What’s a gingerbread man’s favorite part of the holidays? The “icing” on the cake!
16. Why was the bread dough sad? It couldn’t “rise” to the occasion!
17. What’s a baker’s favorite Christmas song? Dough You Hear What I Hear?
18. How does Santa serve his eggs? Sunny-side up with a side of “ho, ho, ho” sauce!
19. Why was the Christmas pie so good at baseball? It had the best “batter”!
20. What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their game in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!
21. Why did the snowman want a divorce? His wife was a “flake”!
22. What do you call an elf that can sing? A “wrap” star!
23. Why did the gingerbread man go to the gym? He wanted to get “bready”!
24. What’s a Christmas tree’s favorite type of fruit? Pine-apple!
25. Why did the apple pie cry on Christmas? It couldn’t find its “crust”!
26. What do you call a reindeer who loves pastries? “Dough” Dasher!
27. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It was feeling crumby!
28. What do you call a snowman’s pet dog? A slush puppy!
29. What’s Santa’s favorite candy? Jolly Ranchers!
30. Why was the fruitcake so popular? It had good taste in “currants”!
Christmas Puns Love
1. I’m “sleigh”-ing my feelings for you.
2. You light up my life like a Christmas tree.
3. I’m “elf” over heels for you.
4. You’re the star on top of my tree.
5. You make my heart “melt” like a snowman in July.
6. I love you more than Christmas cookies!
7. You’re my gingerbread man, and I’m your icing.
8. You’re the jingle to my bell.
9. I’m nuts about you like a chestnut roasting on an open fire.
10. We’re like two turtle doves!
11. You’re my favorite stocking stuffer.
12. You’re the marshmallow to my hot cocoa.
13. You make every day feel like Christmas.
14. My love for you is snow joke.
15. You’re the candy cane to my hot chocolate.
16. You make my heart go “ho, ho, ho”!
17. You’re the reason for my season.
18. You’re the mistletoe to my kiss.
19. We’re like a perfect snowflake: unique and beautiful together.
20. You make my heart sing like a Christmas carol.
21. I love you more than Santa loves cookies.
22. You’re the gift I never want to return.
23. We go together like eggnog and nutmeg.
24. You fill my heart with Christmas cheer all year long.
25. You’re the Rudolph to my sleigh.
26. Our love is the best present I could ever receive.
27. You’re the figgy pudding to my Christmas feast.
28. You and I are like a pair of matching Christmas sweaters.
29. You’re the sugarplum to my dreams.
30. Our love is evergreen like a Christmas tree.
Short Christmas Puns One-Liners
1. It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas, everywhere you snow!
2. I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red.
3. I’ll be ho-ho-home for Christmas!
4. Snow place like home for the holidays.
5. Have an ice Christmas!
6. Let’s make it rein-deer!
7. Don’t get your tinsel in a tangle.
8. I’m “sleigh”-ing it this Christmas!
9. Yule be sorry if you don’t have a merry Christmas!
10. Your presents is requested.
11. It’s the most wine-derful time of the year.
12. I’m up to snow good.
13. Have your elf a merry little Christmas.
14. We’ve got great chemis-tree!
15. I’m “tree-mendously” excited for Christmas!
16. The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.
17. Christmas is claus for celebration!
18. We have snow much fun!
19. Sleigh my name, sleigh my name!
20. I’m feeling festive, yule see!
21. It’s the season to be freezin’!
22. I’m snow excited for Christmas!
23. Wrap battle: me vs. the gift paper.
24. I’m on the nice list!
25. Let’s just say I sleighed it.
26. I’ve got my eyes on the pies.
27. Let’s have a jolly holiday!
28. I’m full of Christmas spirit!
29. I’m wrapped up in the holiday season! 30. I’m snow kidding around!
christmas puns for cards
1. What do you call an elf who sings? A wrapper!
2. Why was the snowman looking through the carrots? He was picking his nose!
3. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
4. How do Christmas angels greet each other? “Halo!”
5. What did one snowman say to the other? “Do you smell carrots?”
6. How does a snowman get around? By riding an “icicle”!
7. What do you call a broke Santa Claus? Saint “Nickel”-less!
8. Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor? He had low “elf”-esteem!
9. What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time? Sandy Claws!
10. How do sheep say Merry Christmas? “Fleece Navidad!”
11. Why did the Grinch go to the liquor store? He was looking to “get in the holiday spirit”!
12. What do snowmen do on the weekend? Chill out!
13. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing, it was on the house!
14. What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride? A “Holly” Davidson!
15. Why was the math book sad at Christmas? It had too many “problems”!
16. How do you scare a snowman? With a hairdryer!
17. Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing? They always drop their needles!
18. What’s Santa’s favorite type of music? Wrap!
19. What do elves learn in school? The “elf”-abet!
20. Why is Christmas just like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit!
21. Why did Santa go to music school? To improve his “wrapping” skills!
22. What do you call an old snowman? Water!
23. How do you know when Santa’s around? You can always sense his “presents”!
24. What did the gingerbread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet!
25. Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past? Because the present’s beneath them!
26. What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus!
27. What do crackers, fruitcake, and nuts remind me of? You!
28. What did Adam say the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve!
29. What do snowmen like to do on the weekend? Chill out!
30. Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber? It needed to be trimmed!
Christmas Tree Puns
1. Why did the tree go to the dentist? It needed a root canal.
2. How do trees get online? They just log in!
3. What did the tree wear to the pool party? Swimming trunks.
4. Why do trees hate tests? Because they get stumped!
5. How do you properly identify a dogwood tree? By its bark!
6. What did the beaver say to the tree? It’s been nice gnawing you!
7. Why do trees always try new things? They like to branch out!
8. What’s a tree’s favorite drink? Root beer!
9. Why are pine trees always confused? Because they have so many cones!
10. What did the tree say to the wind? Leaf me alone!
11. Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber? It needed a trim!
12. What’s a tree’s least favorite month? Sep-timber!
13. How does a tree get on the internet? It logs on!
14. What’s a tree’s favorite dating app? Timber!
15. Why do trees hate riddles? They get stumped!
16. How do you get down from a tree? You don’t, you get down from a duck!
17. Why was the tree so embarrassed? It saw the forest’s bottom!
18. Why couldn’t the tree answer the phone? It couldn’t find its roots!
19. How do trees play the piano? They use their roots!
20. Why was the tree sent to the principal’s office? For being too shady!
21. Why was the tree always resting? It was constantly bushed!
22. What did the tree say to autumn? Leaf me alone!
23. How do trees get in shape? They do branch presses!
24. Why did the tree break up with the lumberjack? It didn’t want to be stumped!
25. What do you call a tree that tells jokes? A comedi-tree!
26. What did the tree say when it was ready to party? Let’s get this party leafing!
27. Why couldn’t the tree get a date? It was too sappy!
28. Why do trees make good detectives? Because they always get to the root!
29. What is a tree’s favorite school subject? Geome-tree!
30. Why are trees terrible at tests? They always get stumped!
Santa Puns
1. Why does Santa go down chimneys? Because it soots him!
2. What’s Santa’s favorite snack? Crisp Pringles!
3. How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he visits? He keeps a log!
4. Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor? Because he had low elf-esteem!
5. Why is Santa so good at karate? Because he has a black belt!
6. What do you call Santa when he takes a break? Santa Pause!
7. Why did Santa go to college? He wanted to improve his “present”-ation skills!
8. How does Santa measure on the metric system? In Santameters!
9. Why does Santa work so hard? Because he loves the “presents”!
10. What do you call Santa’s helpers? Subordinate Clauses!
11. How do you know Santa is good at karate? He has a black belt!
12. What’s Santa’s favorite type of music? Wrap!
13. How does Santa’s sleigh start? With a jingle bell!
14. How did Santa pay for his sleigh? On the ho-ho-ho!
15. What’s Santa’s favorite subject in school? Chemis-tree!
16. Why doesn’t Santa get a speeding ticket? Because he’s always on the nice list!
17. What do you call Santa when he stops moving? Santa Pause!
18. Why did Santa go to music school? To improve his wrapping skills!
19. What do you call a Santa who only eats cookies? A cookie monster!
20. Why did Mrs. Claus tell Santa to find a second job? Because they were “claus” to broke!
21. What do elves call Santa’s little helpers? Subordinate Clauses!
22. Why does Santa go down the chimney on Christmas Eve? Because it soots him!
23. What did Santa say to the smoker? Please don’t smoke, it’s bad for my elf!
24. How does Santa stay healthy? He sleds every day!
25. What do you call a grumpy Santa? Krampus!
26. Why did Santa get a parking ticket on Christmas Eve? He left his sleigh in a snow parking zone!
27. What’s Santa’s favorite candy? Jolly Ranchers!
28. What does Santa use to take photos? An “elfie” stick!
29. Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor? Because he had low “elf” esteem! 30. What does Santa do when his elves misbehave? He gives them the sack!