Okay, here are 100 “two” puns, designed to be relatable and human:
1. I went to a fancy dress party as the number two, everyone was so flush-tered.
2. I’m reading a book about twins; it has a very repetitive plot, but I’m two into it.
3. Feeling twice as good today!
4. That couple is two cute together.
5. I have two much on my plate right now.
6. Two be or not two be, that is the question.
7. It takes two tango.
8. I’m two tired for this.
9. I’m seeing double, that’s two much.
10. What did the number zero say to the number eight? Nice belt!
11. My love for you is two fold.
12. Let’s stick together like glue, you and two.
13. I think I need a two-cation.
14. Don’t be a stranger, let’s meet up two-morrow!
15. Two infinity and beyond!
16. You’re my number two best friend.
17. Birds of a feather flock two-gether.
18. I’m in two minds about this.
19. Two wrongs don’t make a right.
20. That’s just my two cents.
21. Two be honest, I don’t care.
22. He’s my partner in crime, the perfect two.
23. Two words: I’m impressed.
24. I’m giving this my all, a one-two punch.
25. I’m two peas in a pod with her.
26. We make a great two-some.
27. Let’s make two of it.
28. Two bad, so sad.
29. She’s the apple of my two eyes.
30. That was two funny.
31. I’m always rooting for the under-dog, and the under-two.
32. It’s not two late to apologize.
33. They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but I think it’s too much.
34. I’m trying to improve my two-do list.
35. Having a good day is two easy.
36. My phone bill is always two high.
37. That news was two shocking.
38. My mom is two overprotective.
39. She’s two ambitious for my liking.
40. My neighbor is two nosy.
41. That shirt is two colorful.
42. I’m two excited for the party.
43. He’s always two faced.
44. That’s a tough decision, I need to sleep on it for two nights.
45. Two each their own.
46. I’m two busy to help you right now.
47. That’s two good to be true.
48. This puzzle is two hard.
49. My dog is two clingy.
50. My nephew is two energetic.
51. It’s two early for this.
52. My car is two old.
53. My coffee is two hot.
54. My pizza is two greasy.
55. This cake is two sweet.
56. I’m two cold in here.
57. My shoes are two tight.
58. These pants are two loose.
59. My hair is two long.
60. My nails are two short.
61. My room is two messy.
62. My boss is two demanding.
63. My co-worker is two loud.
64. My commute is two long.
65. My rent is two expensive.
66. The traffic is two bad.
67. The weather is two unpredictable.
68. This movie is two boring.
69. This song is two annoying.
70. This book is two long.
71. The test was way two hard.
72. The wait was way two long.
73. The line was way two slow.
74. The food was way two salty.
75. The service was way two bad.
76. My head is too stuffed up for two days now.
77. Two survive, I’ll need to pull an all-nighter.
78. I was two quick to judge.
79. This diet has been two much.
80. This relationship has been two draining.
81. I’m two invested in this reality tv show.
82. My phone is getting two many notifications.
83. Two whom it may concern.
84. My dad is two old fashioned.
85. She’s two sensitive.
86. He’s two lazy.
87. You are two kind.
88. That’s two interesting to pass up.
89. It’s two important.
90. It’s two complicated.
91. It’s two risky.
92. It’s two vague.
93. It’s two obvious.
94. It’s two repetitive.
95. It’s two ironic.
96. It’s two coincidental.
97. He’s my plus two.
98. I’m counting down the seconds, two days left!
99. I’m down for two!
100. I’m giving 110 percent, and that’s two times the effort!