200+ Short Puns That Are a Total Smash

**General/Everyday Life:**

1. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
2. I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist.
3. I used to hate facial hair, but it’s grown on me.
4. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
5. Having trouble reading street signs because I’m short-sighted.
6. I’m throwing a party, but I can’t find any confetti. It’s just not popping up.
7. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
8. I’m a very stable genius.
9. My car broke down, so I called a mechanic. It cost me an arm and a leg.
10. I’m trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.
11. I’m trying to organize my closet. It’s a hanger management crisis.
12. I’m good at multi-tasking but I’m also pretty good at multi-resting.
13. I’m terrible at cooking, I can really botch things up.
14. I have an appointment with the dentist tomorrow. Brace yourself for more bad puns.
15. My motivation is lacking, I don’t have the energy to explain.
16. You could say my life is a little crumby.
17. I got my ladder stolen. I’m at a loss for words.

**Food/Drink:**

18. I like my eggs sunny-side up. It’s a yolk I can get behind.
19. Let’s taco ’bout something else.
20. This cheese is grate!
21. I’m feeling grape today!
22. I’m trying to make toast, but the bread keeps burning. It’s a real toastastrophe.
23. Donut kill my vibe.
24. I relish the opportunity to make food puns.
25. Life is what you bake it.
26. I’m going bananas!
27. I’m always rooting for a good salad.
28. Everything I dough, I dough it for you.
29. Having a tea-riffic day.
30. I feel bad for my coffee. It gets mugged every morning.
31. That cake was so good, I’m in tiers.
32. Having a berry good time.
33. I’m a cereal killer.
34. I am a waffle lot happier today.

**Work/School:**

35. I work at a keyboard factory, really putting in my key strokes.
36. I’m taking a class on time management. It’s about time!
37. My computer is acting up. It needs some space.
38. I’m in a meeting, and I’m board.
39. My boss is always on my case. It’s a briefcase scenario.
40. My math teacher is always making sine of the times.
41. My printer is out of ink, it has nothing to say.
42. I’m writing a book about glue. I can’t seem to stick to the plot.
43. My pen just broke. I think I need to get a new point across.
44. Work hard, nap harder.
45. I’m a pro-crastinator.

**Relationships/Social:**

46. We make a great pear!
47. I love you from my head tomatoes.
48. I’m so happy we met. It was meant to bean.
49. I’m not afraid to show you my love.
50. I think you’re really appealing.
51. You’re the apple of my pie.
52. Let’s ketchup soon.
53. I’m all buttered up for a date.
54. I can’t be held responsible for my actions, my brain is off duty.

**Health/Fitness:**

55. Running late is my cardio.
56. I’m trying to be a better version of myself, but I’m already pretty great.
57. I need an extra day between Saturday and Sunday.
58. I’m trying to workout, but my muscles are really strained.
59. It’s been a long day, and I’m really tired. I’m going to go to bed and recharge my batteries.
60. I’m having a hard time keeping up with the pace of the world.

**Animals:**

61. Have you herd about the cows?
62. Having a whale of a time!
63. I don’t want to talk about our relationship. I’m feline down.
64. I’m trying to raise money for the local animal shelter. It’s a pawsome cause.
65. I’m a chicken, but I’m also kind of a cool chick.

**Hobbies:**

66. I’m knot very good at sewing.
67. I really like photography. I could go on shuttering.
68. I’m a fan of painting, but it has its drawbacks.

**Technology:**

69. My phone is out of battery.
70. I’m so good at coding.
71. I think I have an app for that.
72. I love being so tech-savvy.

**Money:**

73. I need to work harder for that dough.
74. That’s a lot of money.

**Gardening:**

75. I wet my plants.
76. Please don’t leaf me.
77. I love gardening but I can only do it from the seat of my plants.

**Fashion:**

78. I don’t like this shirt, it feels de-pressing.
79. I love this scarf.
80. I like dressing up for the holidays.

**Geography:**

81. This is my country.
82. My favorite part of the country is the state of denial.

**Music:**

83. My music taste is pitch perfect.
84. Music is my life.

**Weather:**

85. The weather is mist-erable.
86. It is cold out here.
87. I love when it rains.

**Emotions:**

88. Having a great time is just a-peeling.
89. When you’re feeling down, it’s beet-er to be sad.
90. I am in-cider-ly happy to be here.
91. I’m full of zest for life.
92. I’m very egg-cited about my blog.
93. Avo great day!
94. I’m kind of blue, but not the berry kind.

**Home/Living:**

95. I am always in for a good meal.
96. My apartment is a pun sanctuary.
97. My house smells clean.
98. My home is safe.
99. I love coming home after a long day.

**Travel:**

100. Traveling is always fun.
101. I’m always ready to travel, I’m always packed and ready to go.
102. I am a travel fanatic.

**Parties:**

103. I love planning parties.
104. Parties are always fun.
105. I’m the life of the party.

**Movies:**

106. Action movies are the best.
107. I like comedy movies more than dramas.
108. I like watching horror movies.

**Books:**

109. I always read before bed.
110. Books can change the world.

**Board Games:**

111. Board games are a great way to socialize.
112. I love chess.
113. I like monopoly.

**Holidays:**

114. I love trick-or-treating on Halloween.
115. Thanksgiving is the best.
116. Christmas is my favorite holiday.
117. New Years is a time for change.
118. Easter is full of egg-citement.

**Shopping:**

119. Shop ’til you drop.
120. My motto is buy what you want.

**Puns About Puns:**

121. I only have pun.
122. I never met a pun I didn’t like.
123. I’m so punny, you should know.

**Random Puns:**

124. Don’t be so salty.
125. Let’s spoon.
126. You want to pizza me?
127. You can’t be serious!
128. It’s all downhill from here.
129. I’m going to wing it.
130. Don’t be so dramatic.
131. I’m always up for some fun.
132. I’m always down for some sleep.
133. I’m going to roll with it.
134. I’m just trying to go with the flow.
135. This is all so crazy.
136. Keep your eyes peeled.
137. I’m trying to find my inner peace.
138. Don’t lose hope.
139. Beating the drum.
140. No need to string me on.
141. This is really grape.
142. It is a vine day out.
143. We should relish this moment.
144. Having a grape time.
145. Just a pizza my heart.
146. I just want to relish the moment.
147. You are an amazing tart.
148. Don’t get saucy with me.
149. You are making me go bananas.
150. I am going to seed you later.
151. Let’s carrot on.
152. Peas and love.
153. You are my butter half.
154. Olive you.
155. I yam what I yam.
156. I don’t carrot all.
157. I am a fungi.
158. Don’t be a jerk.
159. Let’s have a heart to heart.
160. I like to go with the grain.
161. I want to cut corners.
162. What’s up, dawg?
163. Please stop barking!
164. Do you like my cat-titude?
165. Don’t chicken out now.
166. I got caught red-handed!
167. Just winging it.
168. I want to rock you!
169. I need to drum up business.
170. Don’t fret over things.
171. That was over my head.
172. I am tired of the rat race.
173. It is time to step on the gas.
174. What are you driving at?
175. My shoe has a sole.
176. Just trying to kick back.
177. Don’t play cat and mouse.
178. It doesn’t phase me.
179. We need to be frank.
180. I am a big dill.
181. Stop beating around the bush.
182. Have you bean working out?
183. I’m all about the butter.
184. No need to be cheesy.
185. I am not a fan of the beet-les.
186. I didn’t mean to romaine silent.
187. I have a crust on you.
188. Do you like my purr-sonality?
189. It is a real shocker.
190. Have some common volts.
191. Is this Ohm-kay with you?
192. I am so hot, I need to be condesned.
193. Make no mis-takes.
194. Don’t be so negative.
195. Don’t be under pressure.
196. Is this too cold for you?
197. It all started at sea level.
198. I have high hopes for you.
199. Do you have a high five for me?
200. Let me lend you a hand.

Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.